Futility Counter

Gabrielle Hoad | Zebrafish | 2021| WIP on bestiary of human-entangled species

In her book The Case for Quitting, Lindsay Crouse argues that we need to start viewing quitting as a tool of perseverance, rather than the enemy of it. She points to research with zebrafish: when they encounter a strong current, they respond with a surge of effort but, if that doesn’t work, they give up. This is judged by specialised cells in their brains that scientists call 'futility counters'. Zebrafish instinctively follow these cues because they support survival, but humans have learned to override them.

It's now 20 years since I graduated from art school with quite realistic ambitions to work for money part-time and pursue my art career with the hours I had left. I never expected to show in Tate Modern but I did expect to generate a steady stream of interesting opportunities and, between about 2011 and 2022, that seemed to be happening. But, for the last three years or so, I have definitely been swimming hard against the current, getting older and getting nowhere, and feeling more and more exhausted.

As funding and places to work shrink, it's ever more important for artists to support each other and generate their own opportunities. So it's ironic that I find myself quitting a number of networks...often because they are so sprawling and 'inclusive' as to be meaningless. I am having one last surge of effort to find other local(ish) artists specifically interested in integrating experimental and moving image into critically engaged practice. But after that, I might be turning around and going with the flow.